Happy Friday kidlets!
I haven't come across any real gems this week so I thought I'd revert to some old favourites.
First of all some more of those tightly-bejeaned lads from OkGo.
Cheapest. Video clip. Ever.
I particularly enjoy the Matrix-style moves halfway through.
And secondly, just because I loves me a funny cat - more funny cats.
Enjoy the weather while it lasts - Bureau reckons it's going to turn nasty...
Thursday, 31 August 2006
Wednesday, 30 August 2006
Sunny day Sweepin' the clouds away
How good is the weather!?
Because it's so sunny and pleasant I'm not going to spend time bloggerising.
Instead, here are some interesting things:
A newish blog in town by foody friends of ours, Happy Guts is dedicated to reviewing restaurants in Melbourne and worth a browse.
Mr Lefty and his enormous brain hammers home his point about the Red Cross missile scandal in Lebanon and the response of blancmange-face Downer and his Righty bat-winged monkies.
I'm going to be in a show with these people. I anticipate it will be fun and I insist you all attend.
Now GO OUTSIDE ALL OF YOU!
Because it's so sunny and pleasant I'm not going to spend time bloggerising.
Instead, here are some interesting things:
A newish blog in town by foody friends of ours, Happy Guts is dedicated to reviewing restaurants in Melbourne and worth a browse.
Mr Lefty and his enormous brain hammers home his point about the Red Cross missile scandal in Lebanon and the response of blancmange-face Downer and his Righty bat-winged monkies.
I'm going to be in a show with these people. I anticipate it will be fun and I insist you all attend.
Now GO OUTSIDE ALL OF YOU!
Tuesday, 29 August 2006
Just follow the freakin rules
On Saturday morning, a 77 year old man was killed after being hit by a cyclist on Beach Rd in Mentone. That someone was killed walking in front of a bicycle is not surprising. Pretty much anyone who rides a bike in Melbourne will have had a pedestrian walk in front of them without looking at one time or another. The difference in this case is that this man was killed crossing with the 'green man' at pedestrian lights, by a 'peleton' of 200+ unofficially organised amateur riders that were either unable, or unwilling to break the bunch and stop in time.
I can't help but think that bike/car relations in Melbourne are reaching some sort of crisis point. My daily ride to and from work, mainly along bike-friendly back streets, attracts abuse from motorists (and pedestrians) probably once a week on average. People hate bike riders.
As a cyclist, the contempt with which I am treated by those in cars and pedestrians is really quite confronting. A short ride is enough to get the adrenalin pumping as you try not to get cut-off, run-over or run-into. Riding in the city can be a truly scary experience and I think that's one of the reasons cyclists feel they can behave outside the road rules - if someone on a bike is not going to be treated as another car by motorists, then why should they follow the car rules?
This is something I really feel quite strongly about. Put simply, bike riders should follow the road rules. The rules exist for a reason and if cyclists expect to be treated with respect by other road users, they have to demonstrate that they are part of the system by complying with it. Nothing enrages car drivers more than cyclists who ride through red lights.
Which brings me back to the incident on the weekend.
The cyclists traveling in the group were undertaking what apparently is known as the "Hell Ride", a daily ritual among the south-of-the-Yarra lycra-wearers. Traveling from Frankston to Port Melbourne, they travel in a tight group of up to 200 riders at speeds averaging 40km/h and often exceeding 60km/h in places. Those who participate describe the thrill of riding in a big tight group, the surges of power, the borderline control, riding shoulder to shoulder flat out on a road seemingly made for this type of activity. It must be an awesome thing to do.
But it is COMPLETELY inappropriate. Not wanting to get left behind, the 'peleton' will regularly ignore traffic lights, speeding through to maintain momentum, pushing each other on. A group like this would not only be thrilling to ride in, but would also offer protection from the often hostile traffic that travels along Beach Rd. But these are not professional riders competing on a closed course. They are amateur enthusiasts who get together informally, riding on public roads complete with traffic lights, pedestrian crossings, cars, trucks and motorbikes.
It has the same 'fuck you' feel about it as Critical Mass, the monthly protest ride that travels through the CBD during peak hour, deliberately provoking motorists by holding them up and 'making a point'.
No wonder motorists hate us.
I think Melbourne should have more infrastructure to support the growing numbers of cyclists. I think motorists should be more forgiving and much more patient when they encounter a bike on the road. But ultimately, cycling itself needs a cultural change. Those who ride bikes need take greater responsibility for the way they are perceived, whether it's the lycra'd tossers riding their $15,000 bikes in St. Kilda, or the too-cool-to-wear-a-helmet hipsters on Brunswick St.
If you ride a bike, you represent all of us, so do us a favour and don't be an arsehole. At least TRY to follow the road rules and just maybe motorists will start treating us with some sort of respect.
I can't help but think that bike/car relations in Melbourne are reaching some sort of crisis point. My daily ride to and from work, mainly along bike-friendly back streets, attracts abuse from motorists (and pedestrians) probably once a week on average. People hate bike riders.
As a cyclist, the contempt with which I am treated by those in cars and pedestrians is really quite confronting. A short ride is enough to get the adrenalin pumping as you try not to get cut-off, run-over or run-into. Riding in the city can be a truly scary experience and I think that's one of the reasons cyclists feel they can behave outside the road rules - if someone on a bike is not going to be treated as another car by motorists, then why should they follow the car rules?
This is something I really feel quite strongly about. Put simply, bike riders should follow the road rules. The rules exist for a reason and if cyclists expect to be treated with respect by other road users, they have to demonstrate that they are part of the system by complying with it. Nothing enrages car drivers more than cyclists who ride through red lights.
Which brings me back to the incident on the weekend.
The cyclists traveling in the group were undertaking what apparently is known as the "Hell Ride", a daily ritual among the south-of-the-Yarra lycra-wearers. Traveling from Frankston to Port Melbourne, they travel in a tight group of up to 200 riders at speeds averaging 40km/h and often exceeding 60km/h in places. Those who participate describe the thrill of riding in a big tight group, the surges of power, the borderline control, riding shoulder to shoulder flat out on a road seemingly made for this type of activity. It must be an awesome thing to do.
But it is COMPLETELY inappropriate. Not wanting to get left behind, the 'peleton' will regularly ignore traffic lights, speeding through to maintain momentum, pushing each other on. A group like this would not only be thrilling to ride in, but would also offer protection from the often hostile traffic that travels along Beach Rd. But these are not professional riders competing on a closed course. They are amateur enthusiasts who get together informally, riding on public roads complete with traffic lights, pedestrian crossings, cars, trucks and motorbikes.
It has the same 'fuck you' feel about it as Critical Mass, the monthly protest ride that travels through the CBD during peak hour, deliberately provoking motorists by holding them up and 'making a point'.
No wonder motorists hate us.
I think Melbourne should have more infrastructure to support the growing numbers of cyclists. I think motorists should be more forgiving and much more patient when they encounter a bike on the road. But ultimately, cycling itself needs a cultural change. Those who ride bikes need take greater responsibility for the way they are perceived, whether it's the lycra'd tossers riding their $15,000 bikes in St. Kilda, or the too-cool-to-wear-a-helmet hipsters on Brunswick St.
If you ride a bike, you represent all of us, so do us a favour and don't be an arsehole. At least TRY to follow the road rules and just maybe motorists will start treating us with some sort of respect.
Monday, 28 August 2006
Thomas not guilty but still a terrorist
I am constantly astounded by the Federal Government's ability to repeatedly enrage me. Every day it seems a new policy is announced, or a decision is made, or a decision is avoided, or a dog whistle blown. It's like they have planted little spylets in my brain and they have a whole army of men in white coats analysing the data that flows forth to develop policy that will most effectively piss me off.
But despite the astonishingly long list of badness, this is among the most insane and appalling acts this government has pulled.
Why there is not more outrage in the community is a reflection of how effectively Howard and his repulsive right-wing cronies are changing the way Australians think about themselves. That despite being tried and acquitted by the justice system of Australia, Phillip Ruddock can have Jack Thomas placed under house arrest, is surely one of the most extreme interventionist and obstructionist government actions ever undertaken in this country.
The claims that have seen this outrage rubber stamped by Federal Magistrate Graham Mowbray, seem on the face of it to be extraordinarily tenuous at best.
"Could provide", "potential resource" - these are now sufficient grounds to deprive someone of their liberty? For fucks sake, I would argue that ANYONE "could" provide a "potential" resource for the planning or preparation of a terrorist act. Under this reasoning, anyone with a military background, anyone who knows how to handle explosives, anyone who can fire a gun or knows the layout of a power station or has commuted through Flinders St "could" provide a "potential" resource for the planning and preparation of a terrorist act.
Further evidence of the ludicrousness of this action can be seen in the order itself. Among other things,
HE KNOWS HOW TO CONTACT OSAMA BIN LADEN?? Holy Crap - this man is an evil genius. The entire Western World has been trying to find Osama Bin Laden for 5 years, but apparently Jack Thomas HAS HIS PHONE NUMBER!!
I'm tipping the Federal Police would be pretty pissed off if I contacted Osama Bin Laden. Fortunately, that's pretty unlikely, given that no-one knows where the fuck he is. But Jack Thomas, he could contact Bin Laden AT ANY TIME!! Such is the perfidious nature of the towel-head terrorist.
It seems this action has been taken because Jack Thomas poses such an enormous threat to the Australian Way Of Life (AWOL - coincidence?), that he could not be allowed to have a week in Gippsland with his wife and three young children. He must report to Police three times a week, use only approved (tapped) phone lines and not leave his house between midnight and 5am.
If he is so dangerous that he cannot be permitted out of his house after midnight, then why was he permitted to live in the community without incident for 16 months after he returned from Pakistan in 2004? What has changed since then, that he must now forgo his civil liberties for the protection of the Australian community? There has been no suggestion that any new evidence has been provided, he is not accused of hurting anyone. The most serious charge against him, that he attended an AlQaeda training camp is disputed. He admitted taking money from someone he was introduced to in Pakistan and agreeing to allow his passport to be doctored so he could get home. That's it.
The whole thing is such an extraordinary disgrace.
But despite the astonishingly long list of badness, this is among the most insane and appalling acts this government has pulled.
Why there is not more outrage in the community is a reflection of how effectively Howard and his repulsive right-wing cronies are changing the way Australians think about themselves. That despite being tried and acquitted by the justice system of Australia, Phillip Ruddock can have Jack Thomas placed under house arrest, is surely one of the most extreme interventionist and obstructionist government actions ever undertaken in this country.
The claims that have seen this outrage rubber stamped by Federal Magistrate Graham Mowbray, seem on the face of it to be extraordinarily tenuous at best.
"Without these controls, Mr Thomas' knowledge and skills could provide a potential resource for the planning or preparation of a terrorist act," the court order said.
"Could provide", "potential resource" - these are now sufficient grounds to deprive someone of their liberty? For fucks sake, I would argue that ANYONE "could" provide a "potential" resource for the planning or preparation of a terrorist act. Under this reasoning, anyone with a military background, anyone who knows how to handle explosives, anyone who can fire a gun or knows the layout of a power station or has commuted through Flinders St "could" provide a "potential" resource for the planning and preparation of a terrorist act.
Further evidence of the ludicrousness of this action can be seen in the order itself. Among other things,
"He cannot contact 50 specified individuals - including Osama bin Laden who are members of terror groups."
HE KNOWS HOW TO CONTACT OSAMA BIN LADEN?? Holy Crap - this man is an evil genius. The entire Western World has been trying to find Osama Bin Laden for 5 years, but apparently Jack Thomas HAS HIS PHONE NUMBER!!
I'm tipping the Federal Police would be pretty pissed off if I contacted Osama Bin Laden. Fortunately, that's pretty unlikely, given that no-one knows where the fuck he is. But Jack Thomas, he could contact Bin Laden AT ANY TIME!! Such is the perfidious nature of the towel-head terrorist.
It seems this action has been taken because Jack Thomas poses such an enormous threat to the Australian Way Of Life (AWOL - coincidence?), that he could not be allowed to have a week in Gippsland with his wife and three young children. He must report to Police three times a week, use only approved (tapped) phone lines and not leave his house between midnight and 5am.
If he is so dangerous that he cannot be permitted out of his house after midnight, then why was he permitted to live in the community without incident for 16 months after he returned from Pakistan in 2004? What has changed since then, that he must now forgo his civil liberties for the protection of the Australian community? There has been no suggestion that any new evidence has been provided, he is not accused of hurting anyone. The most serious charge against him, that he attended an AlQaeda training camp is disputed. He admitted taking money from someone he was introduced to in Pakistan and agreeing to allow his passport to be doctored so he could get home. That's it.
The whole thing is such an extraordinary disgrace.
Sunday, 27 August 2006
Help needed
The work I do is kind of seasonal. In other words, we have periods when it gets mentally busy (as in really busy, not really thinky) and other times when there's not so much to do.
We are currently in the not so much to do period.
Essentially, at the moment if I want to do something, I need to pretty much make it up. I suspect it's a bit like being a Management Consultant:
Consequences of having nothing to do:Boredom Laziness Increased blogging Decreased motivation Etc.
It's not an enormous surprise then that this is the time most people at my work choose to take leave.
I LOVE leave. So much so that I treasure it like a pirate hoarding gold (as opposed to a gold pirating whore). It builds up slowly, painfully inching it's way up by fractions of a day each week until finally you have enough for a tangible break.
Problem is though, I love it so much, I don't want to use it, because then I WON'T HAVE ANY! Do you see my dilemma!?
Can I get a "Hell Yeah"!?
I'm convinced more and more people are taking less and less leave because they, like me, just love it so much they don't want to see it taken away.
Yes I KNOW. I KNOW that the whole POINT of leave is to actually TAKE it and that saving it up is akin to putting a Federal budget surplus in a "Future Fund", but I can't help it, I'm compulsive.
I need help to break out of this stranglehold by going on holidays NOW (or within the next week or two) and you dear readers (I know you're out there - I have my sources etc.), are going to help me do it.
Where should I go on holidays? Help me. Please.
We are currently in the not so much to do period.
Essentially, at the moment if I want to do something, I need to pretty much make it up. I suspect it's a bit like being a Management Consultant:
Management Consultant 1: "Hmm, what are we going to do today?"You get the drift.
Management Consultant 2: "I know, let's just make something up because I have no idea what a Management Consultant is."
Management Consultant 3: "Great brainstorming team. Make sure you bill this session as a half-hour block."
Consequences of having nothing to do:
It's not an enormous surprise then that this is the time most people at my work choose to take leave.
I LOVE leave. So much so that I treasure it like a pirate hoarding gold (as opposed to a gold pirating whore). It builds up slowly, painfully inching it's way up by fractions of a day each week until finally you have enough for a tangible break.
Problem is though, I love it so much, I don't want to use it, because then I WON'T HAVE ANY! Do you see my dilemma!?
Can I get a "Hell Yeah"!?
I'm convinced more and more people are taking less and less leave because they, like me, just love it so much they don't want to see it taken away.
Yes I KNOW. I KNOW that the whole POINT of leave is to actually TAKE it and that saving it up is akin to putting a Federal budget surplus in a "Future Fund", but I can't help it, I'm compulsive.
I need help to break out of this stranglehold by going on holidays NOW (or within the next week or two) and you dear readers (I know you're out there - I have my sources etc.), are going to help me do it.
Where should I go on holidays? Help me. Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Heads up y'all. Shameless plug commencing!
Sydney peoples.
Liz Stringer will be heading your way very shortly to play a couple of gigs @Newtown (that's not me being trendy and "down with the youth", that's the name of the venue).
Friday week, 8 September with the very attractive and extremely energetic Carus and the Aussie man with the voice ripped straight out of the Mississippi delta
Then backing it up with another show at the same venue two weeks later with the unjustly spunky and quite lesbianic Canadian hotness Ember Swift on Friday 22 September.
You should go. It will be good.
Thursday, 24 August 2006
FRIV - Part the third
And while I'm at it and given it is, after all, a Friday, here is the latest instalment of the segment I like to call Friday's Random Interweb Video.
First an absolute delight. Those of you who are regular readers of Ms Fits will recognise this from a couple of weeks back, but I was reminded of it during the week by the lovely Helen from Grace and Fervour. The boys are from a Swedish band called "OkGo" and the clip - just awesome.
And coming up second is a random video in the truest sense of the word. There's just something about the Japanese and their penchant for public pain and humiliation. If anyone knows WTF is going on in this, I'd love to know.
And now I really must go back to work.
First an absolute delight. Those of you who are regular readers of Ms Fits will recognise this from a couple of weeks back, but I was reminded of it during the week by the lovely Helen from Grace and Fervour. The boys are from a Swedish band called "OkGo" and the clip - just awesome.
And coming up second is a random video in the truest sense of the word. There's just something about the Japanese and their penchant for public pain and humiliation. If anyone knows WTF is going on in this, I'd love to know.
And now I really must go back to work.
Another US school shooting
Yet another shooting spree in a US school.
This is why, according to the NRA, private citizens need to be armed.
Between 2 February 1996 and 8 November 2005 alone, there were 40 instances of school shootings in the US. It appears to be a serious problem.
When these shootings occur, how often do we hear that the siege ends when the perpetrator turns the gun on them self, or that they were disarmed by police? And how often do you hear of private citizens coming to the rescue with their NRA approved weapons?
Of course I don't have these figures at my disposal, but I feel fairly confident in arguing that far more damage has been done by those who own firearms and choose to go on rampages through schools than lives saved by self-appointed civilian militias.
Surely the only way forward is to clear guns out of civilian life entirely, restricting the sort of access that allows kids and adults to move no further than their bedroom cupboards to lay hands on weapons that can kill so easily.
John Howard may be a conniving little neo-con prick, but his gun control laws are a blessing.
"A gunman in the US shot five people today, killing two of them, in a rampage through two houses and an elementary school in Vermont that ended when he wounded himself, police said."
This is why, according to the NRA, private citizens need to be armed.
Between 2 February 1996 and 8 November 2005 alone, there were 40 instances of school shootings in the US. It appears to be a serious problem.
When these shootings occur, how often do we hear that the siege ends when the perpetrator turns the gun on them self, or that they were disarmed by police? And how often do you hear of private citizens coming to the rescue with their NRA approved weapons?
Of course I don't have these figures at my disposal, but I feel fairly confident in arguing that far more damage has been done by those who own firearms and choose to go on rampages through schools than lives saved by self-appointed civilian militias.
Surely the only way forward is to clear guns out of civilian life entirely, restricting the sort of access that allows kids and adults to move no further than their bedroom cupboards to lay hands on weapons that can kill so easily.
John Howard may be a conniving little neo-con prick, but his gun control laws are a blessing.
Kids these days...
This email was forwarded by a dear friend who works in the banking sector in Sydney. Helloooo dear friend!!
Apparently this invitation has done the rounds of all the banks.
Dear. God.
Names and dates have been altered.
There is just so much to like about this that I'm not going to comment further on any of it - just bathe in its silliness.
Apparently this invitation has done the rounds of all the banks.
Dear. God.
Names and dates have been altered.
Dear Friends,
Thank you for all your replies and I am glad all of you can come to celebrate my 21st with me. Please read ALL the following to ensure your entry into the Ritz.
Katie's 21st Birthday Party
at The Ritz Hotel London
Friday, 23th of September
9pm Champagne Reception
10pm Photo Shoots
10:30pm Blowing Candles
Mid-night Pangaea, Mayfair
I have arranged the Ritz to host a Champagne Reception with a selection of Ritz Champagne for all my guests, this will be on me so please come and indulge.
A specially made birthday cake has also been ordered and the Ritz waiters will kindly serve you each a generous slice with Ritz cutleries, etc...also on me.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ENTRY:
* When you arrive, take the Hotel entry on the opposite side of the Green Park tube station [Please refer to your arrival time at the end of this email]
* When asked "how can I help you Sir/Madame?", you reply "I am here for Katie's Birthday Party at the Rivoli Bar"
* You will be escorted to the lounge area next to the Rivoli bar, where you will hopefully see a gorgeous group of ladies.
If you experience any issues getting in or getting to the Ritz, please call my mobile and my PA Ms Andrews will kindly deal
with your queries between 8:30pm to 10pm.
STRICT DRESS CODE:
Gentlemen: Jacket, shirt, and please also bring a tie (no jeans, trainers, flip-flops, polo-shirts)
Ladies: skirt/top, cocktail dress (no denim, min-skirts, flip-flips, bad tastes)
Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress, the less likely you shall be denied entry.
Advice 2: Photos will be taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will be distributed once processed, therefore you may want to be well-groomed! ;)
Finally...
I will be accepting cards and small gifts between 9pm to 11pm...(wink wink) hehehe
I very much look forward to seeing you all at the Ritz this Friday.
Katie
ARRIVAL TIMES: (Please stick to these as best as you can, thank you)
9:00pm: 9 people
9:15pm: Another 9 people (keeping a steady flow)
9:30pm: 11 people (starting to warm up)
9:45pm: 4 people (WTF!?)
10:00pm: 6 people (why do these ones have to arrive an hour later than the others!?)
There is just so much to like about this that I'm not going to comment further on any of it - just bathe in its silliness.
Another Freitag = Woot!
No one ever comes to my work on a Friday. In an area that can hold 16 people, today we have 3. That's right, 3.
So, to while away the hours here are some amusements forme you:
Ze Frank on the perils of flight
The Sydney Morning Herald online most read articles from yesterday afternoon - sent to me by Snooze...
And as the final irrefutable nail in the coffin of Virginia's-kitten-is-cuter-than-ourSnooze's-Mum's-dog, otherwise known as the Cuteness War, I present "Puppy Playing With Football".
Thankyou linesfolk, thankyou ballpeople, I believe that would be Game, Set and Match.
So, to while away the hours here are some amusements for
Ze Frank on the perils of flight
The Sydney Morning Herald online most read articles from yesterday afternoon - sent to me by Snooze...
It's a little tricky to read, but it says: "Tom, you're dumped"
And as the final irrefutable nail in the coffin of Virginia's-kitten-is-cuter-than-
Thankyou linesfolk, thankyou ballpeople, I believe that would be Game, Set and Match.
Nelly's Furtado
I was just editing a long and interesting post about various items when freakin Safari crashed. Mothafukka.
So instead...
Do we think Nelly Furtado is trying to suggest something with her new album, Loose? Track names include Maneater, Promiscuous and Do it.
However, lest we tar Nelly with the 'slut' brush, she's tempered it nicely with In God's Hands.
I wonder if God's happy to have a loose, promiscuous, maneater 'in his hands'...?
So instead...
Do we think Nelly Furtado is trying to suggest something with her new album, Loose? Track names include Maneater, Promiscuous and Do it.
However, lest we tar Nelly with the 'slut' brush, she's tempered it nicely with In God's Hands.
I wonder if God's happy to have a loose, promiscuous, maneater 'in his hands'...?
Tuesday, 22 August 2006
Slow work day
This is a record. Four posts in one day - work is very quiet at the moment.
But really. Oh. My. God. [link broken]
(Via Boing Boing)
UPDATE: As Virginia has pointed out in the comments, this article about why you shouldn't marry career women has been pulled from the Forbes website. Fortunately, the text has been captured by other quick-thinking bloggers. Enjoy!
But really. Oh. My. God. [link broken]
(Via Boing Boing)
UPDATE: As Virginia has pointed out in the comments, this article about why you shouldn't marry career women has been pulled from the Forbes website. Fortunately, the text has been captured by other quick-thinking bloggers. Enjoy!
Daylight Schmavings
I've just been flipping through the Hearld Sun with my usual feelings of amusement/disgust and I came upon the daily readers' poll.
The question in today's paper was: "Do you support the idea of 6 months of daylight savings?"
Now I haven't actually heard all that much about this, but Steve Bracks has suggested that the Eastern seaboard should extend the period of daylight savings by a few weeks at each end. This is not an issue I would have thought would be of great concern to anyone and if I had to guess, I'd say that on the whole, most people would be interested in the proposal, except perhaps Queenslanders concerned that it might fade their curtains.
But of 1,890 votes, 27.1% were in favour and 72.9% were against it. WTF!?
Why do people hate daylight saving so much?
The question in today's paper was: "Do you support the idea of 6 months of daylight savings?"
Now I haven't actually heard all that much about this, but Steve Bracks has suggested that the Eastern seaboard should extend the period of daylight savings by a few weeks at each end. This is not an issue I would have thought would be of great concern to anyone and if I had to guess, I'd say that on the whole, most people would be interested in the proposal, except perhaps Queenslanders concerned that it might fade their curtains.
But of 1,890 votes, 27.1% were in favour and 72.9% were against it. WTF!?
Why do people hate daylight saving so much?
Quagmire anyone?
Dude.
The war in Iraq has lasted longer than US involvement in World War II.
Not that comparisons to WWII are even mildly relevant, but it does make you think.
The war in Iraq has lasted longer than US involvement in World War II.
Not that comparisons to WWII are even mildly relevant, but it does make you think.
So Bershon right now
The delightful musings of Heather from Dooce alerted me to this phrase this morning, courtesy of a very funny blog, Que Sera Sera.
Heh. 90210.
UPDATE: Sarah from Que Sera Sera has posted a photo of her teenage self demonstrating "bershon". Gold.
"...bershon is pretty much how you feel when you're 13 and your parents make you wear a Christmas sweatshirt and then pose for a family picture, and you could not possibly summon one more ounce of disgust, but you're also way too cool to really even DEAL with it, so you just make this face like you smelled something bad and sort of roll your eyes and seethe in a put-out manner. Kelly Taylor from Beverly Hills, 90210 is the patron saint of bershon, as her face, like most other teenagers', was permanently frozen in this expression."
Heh. 90210.
UPDATE: Sarah from Que Sera Sera has posted a photo of her teenage self demonstrating "bershon". Gold.
Monday, 21 August 2006
Voice of the people
I've just noticed that the Herald Sun has open comments on all the leading news stories.
How very egalitarian of them...
How very egalitarian of them...
Sunday, 20 August 2006
Istists
One of the more fascinating social developments that have occurred since September 11, 2001 has been the way vocabulary has been pushed and prodded to create a language that clearly delineates whose "side" you're on. With growing polarisation between the politically left and right has come new terminology, a new set of "weasel words".
Previously, "baddies" were tainted with the "ism" suffix: Communism, Nazism, terrorism, fascism etc. Curiously however, the new fad when it comes to calling someone something unpleasant, is the use of the suffix "ist".
The 'ist' is used almost exclusively by the right to indicate the intrinsic badness of whatever unfortunate subject comes under their disapproving gaze. To use "ist" at the end of a word automatically taints the subject. Not only that, but it is employed to create pseudo-politically-correct "dog-whistle" statements, instantly identifiable by those of a similar mindset, that the object under discussion is to be treated not only with suspicion, but with disdain. Thus, those on the left become 'leftists', followers of Islam become Islamists, or if particularly vitriolic, Islamisists (two ists!). A good one I saw today was 'exterminationists', whatever that means.
Those on the right who are particularly fond of polemics love a good 'ist', take this selection from Andrew Bolt: fundamentalist, activist, socialist, terrorist, paganist, alarmist, jihadist, catastrophist, Zionist, elitist. Or Tim Blair: humanist, Islamo-fascist (hey?), relativist, lobbyist, hobbyist, imperialist, revisionist, denialist.
Rarely do you hear someone referred to as a rightist or a Christianist and while the left seems to be catching onto this, the right have been far better at using this vocabulary, far happier to essentially make words up in order to bring their opponents down before they even reach the debate.
It's a sign of the political landscape that this distortion of language continues to have influence and continues to insinuate its way into the general lexicon without being more frequently questioned. It also demonstrates the parlous state of political discussion, particularly in this country.
Political ideas are rarely, if ever genuinely discussed. Opinion leaders on the right, whether they be politicians or columnists, refuse to engage, ducking tricky questions while spraying 'ists' all over their opponents like squids venting ink. And in an atmosphere where the right simply refuses to talk in any reasoned and coherent manner about pretty much anything, how does the left develop a counter to it? When people have become so inured to the dog-whistling 'Istists', how can any meaningful and productive political discussion take place?
What we need is a return to actual discussion. Argument based on knowledge. Knowledge based on education and research. Let the Istist polemicists (thankyou) scream and throw the insults around until they no longer bite and once they're exhausted from the vitriol, maybe, just maybe people will return to actual debate.
Previously, "baddies" were tainted with the "ism" suffix: Communism, Nazism, terrorism, fascism etc. Curiously however, the new fad when it comes to calling someone something unpleasant, is the use of the suffix "ist".
The 'ist' is used almost exclusively by the right to indicate the intrinsic badness of whatever unfortunate subject comes under their disapproving gaze. To use "ist" at the end of a word automatically taints the subject. Not only that, but it is employed to create pseudo-politically-correct "dog-whistle" statements, instantly identifiable by those of a similar mindset, that the object under discussion is to be treated not only with suspicion, but with disdain. Thus, those on the left become 'leftists', followers of Islam become Islamists, or if particularly vitriolic, Islamisists (two ists!). A good one I saw today was 'exterminationists', whatever that means.
Those on the right who are particularly fond of polemics love a good 'ist', take this selection from Andrew Bolt: fundamentalist, activist, socialist, terrorist, paganist, alarmist, jihadist, catastrophist, Zionist, elitist. Or Tim Blair: humanist, Islamo-fascist (hey?), relativist, lobbyist, hobbyist, imperialist, revisionist, denialist.
Rarely do you hear someone referred to as a rightist or a Christianist and while the left seems to be catching onto this, the right have been far better at using this vocabulary, far happier to essentially make words up in order to bring their opponents down before they even reach the debate.
It's a sign of the political landscape that this distortion of language continues to have influence and continues to insinuate its way into the general lexicon without being more frequently questioned. It also demonstrates the parlous state of political discussion, particularly in this country.
Political ideas are rarely, if ever genuinely discussed. Opinion leaders on the right, whether they be politicians or columnists, refuse to engage, ducking tricky questions while spraying 'ists' all over their opponents like squids venting ink. And in an atmosphere where the right simply refuses to talk in any reasoned and coherent manner about pretty much anything, how does the left develop a counter to it? When people have become so inured to the dog-whistling 'Istists', how can any meaningful and productive political discussion take place?
What we need is a return to actual discussion. Argument based on knowledge. Knowledge based on education and research. Let the Istist polemicists (thankyou) scream and throw the insults around until they no longer bite and once they're exhausted from the vitriol, maybe, just maybe people will return to actual debate.
"Commentator par excellence"
I find it difficult to believe that this is actually for real, but if it is, it's freakin' gold.
Thursday, 17 August 2006
Final boarding call for Mr Kyder, first name Al
Ha.
It's incredibly juvenile but that's why it's so gold.
The boys from The Chaser have got themselves into trouble again, this time for booking airline tickets with dodgy names.
They carefully avoided picking up their tickets, forcing the Virgin staff to make an announcement over the airport PA.
And in a perfect demonstration of completely missing the point, the Virgin spokesperson, Amanda Bolger, had this response:
Um... der.
It's incredibly juvenile but that's why it's so gold.
The boys from The Chaser have got themselves into trouble again, this time for booking airline tickets with dodgy names.
"The satirical show's executive producer, Julian Morrow, said two tickets were booked online under the names "Mr Al Kyder" and "Mr Terry Wrist" for an 8.30am Virgin Blue flight from Sydney to Melbourne."
They carefully avoided picking up their tickets, forcing the Virgin staff to make an announcement over the airport PA.
"Good morning ladies and gentleman," the announcement said. "This is the final boarding call for [name withheld], [name withheld], Al Kyder, [name withheld], and Terry Wrist, all travelling to Melbourne today on Virgin Blue flight 822."
And in a perfect demonstration of completely missing the point, the Virgin spokesperson, Amanda Bolger, had this response:
"The Chaser guys could do well with using spell check. Using names that could be genuine such as Al Kyder and Terry Wrist is hardly going to spark a global security alert"
Um... der.
FRIV - Part the second
Yay!! It's Friday's Random Interweb Video time.
Hoorah! Hooray!
OK, enough of the shouting - it hurts my hungover head.
WHY CAN'T I DRINK TO EXCESS WITH NO CONSEQUENCES ANY MORE!!?? IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!
Anyhoo, I will cease trying to illicit completely unjustified pity and present the following morsels for your Friday asses.
Firstly, a clip that did the rounds a while ago and may well be familiar, but it really is amazing and if not visually fascinating, sounds just wonderful.
And now some completely random Japanese shenanigans. The folks at Dooce enjoyed this so much, they replicated it. Please note - I don't condone such behaviour...but it is kind of amusing in a cruel way. At least the puppy wins in the end.
Hoorah! Hooray!
OK, enough of the shouting - it hurts my hungover head.
WHY CAN'T I DRINK TO EXCESS WITH NO CONSEQUENCES ANY MORE!!?? IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!
Anyhoo, I will cease trying to illicit completely unjustified pity and present the following morsels for your Friday asses.
Firstly, a clip that did the rounds a while ago and may well be familiar, but it really is amazing and if not visually fascinating, sounds just wonderful.
And now some completely random Japanese shenanigans. The folks at Dooce enjoyed this so much, they replicated it. Please note - I don't condone such behaviour...but it is kind of amusing in a cruel way. At least the puppy wins in the end.
Tuesday, 15 August 2006
Age shall not weary etc.
I am currently in the process of becoming a year older than I was previously.
While I spend most of my time becoming a year older than I was previously, it doesn't generally worry me a great deal. I'm stillrelatively young after all. But my next birthday will see me leap youthfully into my fourth decade, leaving behind me the dregs of my twenties to embrace older-agedom.
Now this in itself does not concern me, I'm quite looking forward to being a grown-up, but what I don't like is this business about being forced to take out private health insurance.
I was only vaguely aware that something like this existed (I wasn't yet thirty after all), but now I am approaching said age, I have started to poke around to find out (in the words of Marvin Gaye) what's going on. Needless to say, I don't like it. Not at all.
I'm a bolshie bastard. I was brought up by my parents to believe that the primary role of Government is to support the community that funds and elects it. This is something that shocks our neo-conservative cousins: "WTF poor people don't deserve anything/let's kill babies etc". I, on the other hand, believe in an accessible and socially equitable health care system funded wholly by Government funds and strongly supported by those in power (I think that pretty much sums up the whole left right thing perfectly).
So it will come as no surprise, dear readers, that the implementation of the "Lifetime Health Cover" legislation by JHo and his band of merryfuckwits men leaves me a little short of impressed.
Quoth the Department of Health & Ageing (DHAG - heh):
That's right, the Government is committed to insuring that PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE remains affordable for people WHO HAVE PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE.
The Government's STATED AIM is to keep private health insurance cheaper for those who through either necessity or wealth, already have it.
And how do they intend to do this? Why by punishing those who don't have it of course. Not by directly subsidising private health care or putting more money into the public system, but by fining those filthy bolsheviks who have the temerity to suggest they shouldn't have to pay (additionally) for health care.
The moment I turn 30, the clock will be ticking.
In other words, when I turn 30, if I don't have private health insurance, I must pay my premium, plus 2%. The following year, that goes up to 4%, then 6%, then 8% and so on UP TO 70%!!
Not only that, but this:
Never. Be. Removed.
But wait, there's more!
So if I have private health insurance for 20 years and then stop for a year, because, oh I don't know, they've done nothing for me in all that time, and then I get terminally ill (isn't that always the way) and require extremely expensive palliative care and re-join a private health insurer, I will have to pay 40% on top of my premium!
I want to know what GENIUS in private health insurance came up with this idea. Seriously. Whoever came up with this is actually brilliant. What I can't believe is that the Federal Government has AGREED WITH THEM and instead of putting money towards public health, has created a Future Fund (whatever the fuck that is) with an initial start-up of $18 Billion.
18. Billion. Doll. Ars.
So well done Howard Government, that's one more feather in the cap of why-I-wish-you'd-fuck-off-and-die.
I just... I weep for the futurefund.
While I spend most of my time becoming a year older than I was previously, it doesn't generally worry me a great deal. I'm still
Now this in itself does not concern me, I'm quite looking forward to being a grown-up, but what I don't like is this business about being forced to take out private health insurance.
I was only vaguely aware that something like this existed (I wasn't yet thirty after all), but now I am approaching said age, I have started to poke around to find out (in the words of Marvin Gaye) what's going on. Needless to say, I don't like it. Not at all.
I'm a bolshie bastard. I was brought up by my parents to believe that the primary role of Government is to support the community that funds and elects it. This is something that shocks our neo-conservative cousins: "WTF poor people don't deserve anything/let's kill babies etc". I, on the other hand, believe in an accessible and socially equitable health care system funded wholly by Government funds and strongly supported by those in power (I think that pretty much sums up the whole left right thing perfectly).
So it will come as no surprise, dear readers, that the implementation of the "Lifetime Health Cover" legislation by JHo and his band of merry
Quoth the Department of Health & Ageing (DHAG - heh):
"Why have the new arrangements been introduced?
The Government is committed to ensuring that private health insurance remains affordable for people who have private health insurance."
That's right, the Government is committed to insuring that PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE remains affordable for people WHO HAVE PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE.
The Government's STATED AIM is to keep private health insurance cheaper for those who through either necessity or wealth, already have it.
And how do they intend to do this? Why by punishing those who don't have it of course. Not by directly subsidising private health care or putting more money into the public system, but by fining those filthy bolsheviks who have the temerity to suggest they shouldn't have to pay (additionally) for health care.
The moment I turn 30, the clock will be ticking.
"For each year over 30, a 2 per cent loading (cumulative) is added to the cost of the private health insurance premium up to a maximum of 70 per cent."
In other words, when I turn 30, if I don't have private health insurance, I must pay my premium, plus 2%. The following year, that goes up to 4%, then 6%, then 8% and so on UP TO 70%!!
"The loadings have meant that a person who delays joining until the age of 40 has had to pay 20 per cent more than someone who joined at the aged of 30."
Not only that, but this:
"Currently, LHC loadings can never be removed."
Never. Be. Removed.
But wait, there's more!
"A member who leaves private health cover and then returns in the future will pay the same LHC loading as a member who has never held private hospital insurance."
So if I have private health insurance for 20 years and then stop for a year, because, oh I don't know, they've done nothing for me in all that time, and then I get terminally ill (isn't that always the way) and require extremely expensive palliative care and re-join a private health insurer, I will have to pay 40% on top of my premium!
I want to know what GENIUS in private health insurance came up with this idea. Seriously. Whoever came up with this is actually brilliant. What I can't believe is that the Federal Government has AGREED WITH THEM and instead of putting money towards public health, has created a Future Fund (whatever the fuck that is) with an initial start-up of $18 Billion.
18. Billion. Doll. Ars.
So well done Howard Government, that's one more feather in the cap of why-I-wish-you'd-fuck-off-and-die.
I just... I weep for the future
Monday, 14 August 2006
It's not a big truck!
Apparently "almost 600,000 Australians completed their census online."
I was intending to, but Snooze has some strange fetish for filling in hard-copy forms, so we spent the evening cheerfully writing things down only to have to cross them out when we put the wrong stuff in the wrong boxes.
Still.
When the pleasant Scando Census Lady came round on the weekend to collect our form, she asked me if we had filled it out online as I had promised her we would. Somewhat shamefacedly I had to admit that, no we hadn't done it online because of my ladyfriend's somewhat odd preoccupation with paper and pens.
However.
When I mentioned that we hadn't done it online, Scando Census Lady quickly mentioned that apparently LOTS of people had promised to do it online, but had given up because the connection speed was so slow.
I find this somewhat fascinating given that the Federal Government, the people who actually, you know, run the census and stuff, had just declared that there is nothing wrong with the speed of internet connections in Australia.
Helen Coonan, seen here looking rather frightening, stated that "no one is complaining about the speeds of broadband in metropolitan areas".
Hmm.
Perhaps that's because we DON'T EVEN HAVE FREAKIN' BROADBAND IN AUSTRALIA!!
In direct opposition to Helen "Lightning" Coonan, Gary Barker wrote in The Age, that "by the standards of the International Telecommunications Union, what Australia calls broadband for domestic users does not even qualify."
!!!!
*sigh*
Well, I guess it comes as no surprise, after all, the internet IS a series of toobs.
In other news, this man is a great American.
If you didn't see it, I highly recommend the transcript of Andrew Denton's interview of Major Dante Michael Mori on last night's episode of Enough Rope.
America is a wonderful country, it's just that people like Major Mori have been drowned out by the minority of heinous pricks.
I would like to shake his hand.
I was intending to, but Snooze has some strange fetish for filling in hard-copy forms, so we spent the evening cheerfully writing things down only to have to cross them out when we put the wrong stuff in the wrong boxes.
Still.
When the pleasant Scando Census Lady came round on the weekend to collect our form, she asked me if we had filled it out online as I had promised her we would. Somewhat shamefacedly I had to admit that, no we hadn't done it online because of my ladyfriend's somewhat odd preoccupation with paper and pens.
However.
When I mentioned that we hadn't done it online, Scando Census Lady quickly mentioned that apparently LOTS of people had promised to do it online, but had given up because the connection speed was so slow.
I find this somewhat fascinating given that the Federal Government, the people who actually, you know, run the census and stuff, had just declared that there is nothing wrong with the speed of internet connections in Australia.
Helen Coonan, seen here looking rather frightening, stated that "no one is complaining about the speeds of broadband in metropolitan areas".Hmm.
Perhaps that's because we DON'T EVEN HAVE FREAKIN' BROADBAND IN AUSTRALIA!!
In direct opposition to Helen "Lightning" Coonan, Gary Barker wrote in The Age, that "by the standards of the International Telecommunications Union, what Australia calls broadband for domestic users does not even qualify."
!!!!
"The international minimum broadband standard is 2 megabits per second (mbps). The best domestic service in Australia offers 1.5 mbps, and is available only to subscribers less than 1.5 kilometres from a telephone exchange. Korea and Japan already have 100 mbps to main city homes and are set for much higher speeds within five years."
*sigh*
Well, I guess it comes as no surprise, after all, the internet IS a series of toobs.
In other news, this man is a great American.
If you didn't see it, I highly recommend the transcript of Andrew Denton's interview of Major Dante Michael Mori on last night's episode of Enough Rope.
America is a wonderful country, it's just that people like Major Mori have been drowned out by the minority of heinous pricks.
I would like to shake his hand.
Sunday, 13 August 2006
Missing z's
In the tawdry world of pop music, high ideals and quality musicianship can often be trampled underfoot in the stampede to jump on the latest, digitally-perfected 'talent', the newest and most marketable teen sensation, the next Britney or Beyonce, West Life or Back Street Boys.
It's an industry dominated by big-money studios, profit-grabbing producers and easily-exploited fame whores.
But every now and then, a ray of sunshine breaks through the ever present clouds. An act so powerful and original, so youthfully exuberant and with such musical integrity, that even the most hardened cynics can but watch in awe.
I speak of course of the hard-hitting trio from Melbourne's western suburbs, the Werribee boys made huge, the devastatingly handsome, the silken-voiced and irrepressibly talented Boyz.
Yes, Jaxson, Alex and Dean are the real deal people.
Playing to packed houses from Taylors Lakes to Craigieburn this fearsome trio have been slaying tweenage girls all over this fine city.
But I fear something may have gone horribly wrong. The Boyz were last sighted in early May performing at the legendary Kidz Digz, BUT HAVEN'T BEEN HEARD FROM SINCE!
Could it be that the Boyz and their performance venues have used up all the spare z's in the suburbs and are now stranded in some horrific post zapocolyptic society!? Has the media attention become so great that they have had to go to ground to work on their next album, rumoured to be a psychedelic LSD-infused trance/trip-hop masterpiece?
Where this mystery will end only the baby Jesus knows. But be assured that I will not rest until the truth is uncovered and the Boyz are restored to their rightful place.
It's an industry dominated by big-money studios, profit-grabbing producers and easily-exploited fame whores.
But every now and then, a ray of sunshine breaks through the ever present clouds. An act so powerful and original, so youthfully exuberant and with such musical integrity, that even the most hardened cynics can but watch in awe.
I speak of course of the hard-hitting trio from Melbourne's western suburbs, the Werribee boys made huge, the devastatingly handsome, the silken-voiced and irrepressibly talented Boyz.
Yes, Jaxson, Alex and Dean are the real deal people.
Playing to packed houses from Taylors Lakes to Craigieburn this fearsome trio have been slaying tweenage girls all over this fine city.
But I fear something may have gone horribly wrong. The Boyz were last sighted in early May performing at the legendary Kidz Digz, BUT HAVEN'T BEEN HEARD FROM SINCE!
Could it be that the Boyz and their performance venues have used up all the spare z's in the suburbs and are now stranded in some horrific post zapocolyptic society!? Has the media attention become so great that they have had to go to ground to work on their next album, rumoured to be a psychedelic LSD-infused trance/trip-hop masterpiece?
Where this mystery will end only the baby Jesus knows. But be assured that I will not rest until the truth is uncovered and the Boyz are restored to their rightful place.
Weekendness - BEWARE - this post may damage you!
What did you do on the weekend?
I spent my weekend here.
Sitting in the sun, watching the view, drinking, eating and making merry.
All in all, a very pleasant way to pass the time.
But the highlight of the weekend was not the warm weather, nor was it the blossoming wattles. The highlight of the weekend was an onslaught of cuteness, rarely witnessed and even more rarely survived.
Can you handle it?
CAN YOU!!??
...
...
TAKE THIS!
Haha!
AND THIS!!
Had enough??
Is that begging for mercy I hear?
Then take this!
And this!!
OK, enough.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is Snooze's Mum's new puppy. Cute much?
If you are still alive, the CSIRO would be very interested to hear from you.
I spent my weekend here.
Sitting in the sun, watching the view, drinking, eating and making merry.
All in all, a very pleasant way to pass the time.
But the highlight of the weekend was not the warm weather, nor was it the blossoming wattles. The highlight of the weekend was an onslaught of cuteness, rarely witnessed and even more rarely survived.
Can you handle it?
CAN YOU!!??
...
...
TAKE THIS!
Haha!
AND THIS!!
Had enough??
Is that begging for mercy I hear?
Then take this!
And this!!
OK, enough.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is Snooze's Mum's new puppy. Cute much?
If you are still alive, the CSIRO would be very interested to hear from you.
Thursday, 10 August 2006
Friday's random interweb video - Part The First
It's Friday again. The last few weeks really have been moving very quickly.
As usual, a Friday afternoon finds me glaze-eyed, staring into the space somewhere between my nose and my computer screen. I can stay like this for hours, and only some form of physical violence (eg banging my head against a wall) can snap me out of it.
As such, and as I attempt to be a 'good blogger' in the non-biblical sense of the word, I shall hereby take advantage of my laziness and establish a Friday-afternoon-filling-regular-posting-habit-thing a la Ms Fits and Mr Lefty (started last week with this particular piece of brilliance) that I shall call, "Friday's random interweb video" or FRIV.
And just to get you all in the mood, here's two!! The first I fear most of you will be familiar with because I insist on showing this to anyone who comes within three feet of me, the second is just... well... I love Jon Stewart.
Enjoy.
As usual, a Friday afternoon finds me glaze-eyed, staring into the space somewhere between my nose and my computer screen. I can stay like this for hours, and only some form of physical violence (eg banging my head against a wall) can snap me out of it.
As such, and as I attempt to be a 'good blogger' in the non-biblical sense of the word, I shall hereby take advantage of my laziness and establish a Friday-afternoon-filling-regular-posting-habit-thing a la Ms Fits and Mr Lefty (started last week with this particular piece of brilliance) that I shall call, "Friday's random interweb video" or FRIV.
And just to get you all in the mood, here's two!! The first I fear most of you will be familiar with because I insist on showing this to anyone who comes within three feet of me, the second is just... well... I love Jon Stewart.
Enjoy.
Poor wand'ring one
It's Thursday night, it's cold outside, but inside the heater's on and there's steak from the local Butcher about to go on for dinner. We're sitting on the new couch, Snooze is finishing off the crossword and we are listening to... Pirates of Penzance on vinyl.
That's right.
Pirates of Penzance.
Vinyl.
And I love it.
That's right.
Pirates of Penzance.
Vinyl.
And I love it.
Wednesday, 9 August 2006
Schadenfreude
I'm not sure about you, but I have a creeping feeling of smugness about events taking place in Australia at the moment.
Call it schadenfreude, or just good old-fashioned leftist hating, but I can't help but feel things are starting to swing our way, or at least in the right direction.
I can't say I feel sorry for those who are in debt to their eyeballs, who drive enormous and completely ridiculous cars around and are principally responsible for ignoring the various deceipts heaped upon us by the Howard Government, voting them in with the infuriating slogan "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". These are people who vote with their wallets and petrol tanks. Here's a slogan people should try: "if you can't afford it, don't buy it".
The Federal government has spent the last ten years encouraging people into debt. Figures show that while interest rates are nowhere near the 17% of the early 90's, the ratio of household debt to disposable income is higher. This is of serious concern and one of the main reasons behind the recent RBA decision to raise official rates and the predictions they will rise again before the end of the year. Foreign debt has also continued to climb. And yet the orgy of borrowing and spending that has marked the last ten years was joined eagerly by the "aspirationals", "Howard's Battlers" leaping into the housing market, buying new cars, plasma TV's, surround sound systems. "Fuck the refugees, check out my sub-woofer!" or as is so eloquently put on a t-shirt belonging to Peter, "forget about the war, let's go jet skiing!"
Apparently, to be "relaxed and comfortable" means looking after yourself and screwing the rest - as long as you gain personally, who cares about the wider cost? After all, as everyone's favourite poster girl of the the Right once said, "there is no such thing as society".
So I don't feel sorry for these people now that petrol prices are starting to bite, I don't feel sorry for them now that interest rates are starting to climb, I'm quite content to just sit back and enjoy the show. Call me a sick and bitter leftist if you will, but I think we can all agree there is a certain poetic justice to it all.
Call it schadenfreude, or just good old-fashioned leftist hating, but I can't help but feel things are starting to swing our way, or at least in the right direction.
I can't say I feel sorry for those who are in debt to their eyeballs, who drive enormous and completely ridiculous cars around and are principally responsible for ignoring the various deceipts heaped upon us by the Howard Government, voting them in with the infuriating slogan "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". These are people who vote with their wallets and petrol tanks. Here's a slogan people should try: "if you can't afford it, don't buy it".
The Federal government has spent the last ten years encouraging people into debt. Figures show that while interest rates are nowhere near the 17% of the early 90's, the ratio of household debt to disposable income is higher. This is of serious concern and one of the main reasons behind the recent RBA decision to raise official rates and the predictions they will rise again before the end of the year. Foreign debt has also continued to climb. And yet the orgy of borrowing and spending that has marked the last ten years was joined eagerly by the "aspirationals", "Howard's Battlers" leaping into the housing market, buying new cars, plasma TV's, surround sound systems. "Fuck the refugees, check out my sub-woofer!" or as is so eloquently put on a t-shirt belonging to Peter, "forget about the war, let's go jet skiing!"
Apparently, to be "relaxed and comfortable" means looking after yourself and screwing the rest - as long as you gain personally, who cares about the wider cost? After all, as everyone's favourite poster girl of the the Right once said, "there is no such thing as society".
So I don't feel sorry for these people now that petrol prices are starting to bite, I don't feel sorry for them now that interest rates are starting to climb, I'm quite content to just sit back and enjoy the show. Call me a sick and bitter leftist if you will, but I think we can all agree there is a certain poetic justice to it all.
Monday, 7 August 2006
Video Dogs is right
Those who live in the vicinity of Carlton in Melbourne may be familiar with a little independent video hire place on Faraday St, just down from Brunetti called Video Dogs.
It's a nice idea. A couple of small dark rooms packed to the rafters with videos and DVDs, away from the white fluorescent light and rampant commercialism of Blockbuster, a potential sanctuary from the cold Melbourne winter outside. One of the only video hire places in the area, they attract the locals - students, yuppies, retirees - they're on a pretty good wicket as far as captive audiences go. They've got a great range and their prices are reasonable.
The only problem is that they are a pack of cunts.
I apologise to my more delicate readers, but you haven't met surly, disinterested, morally-superior service until you've had the joy of trying to deal with these people.
I've lived in the Carlton area for over five years and given the monopoly this place has on location and convenience, I have experienced their particular brand of assholery many times. Yet on each occasion, as the months pass since my last visit, I write my feelings of loathing off as exaggeration - they can't really be as bad as I seem to remember, maybe the person working was just having a bad day. Hey I've worked in retail - I know how it can be.
But even with this fairly generous approach in mind, I am still shocked by the way they treat their customers every time I walk into the place.
Not too long ago, Snooze and I planned a night in front of the tele to educate Jelly, Snaz, Peter and the Redhead on the delights of Camp, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds. A quick check on the phone by Snooze of the local video stores to find a copy came up blank - leading inevitably, and somewhat ominously to Video Dogs.
VD: *sounding bored* Carlton Video Dogs
Snooze: Hi, I was wondering if you have a copy of "Camp" available.
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...um, it's 2003...
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...directed by Todd Graff (/WTF!?)
VD: *snapping* I'm just looking it up *heavy sigh*
...
...
...
Yes we do
Snooze: Great! Is it... *phone hangs up*
Being geographically closer, I was delegated the task of going down after work to collect said copy of "Camp".
Conscious of their reputation and eager to avoid being treated like a small piece of poo, I enter with my nicest face on, in the style of Ms Fits at the Chemist trying not to come across as a drug-addled whore. A quick search of the shelves and there it is, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds.
Jauntily I pluck it from the shelf and spring to the service counter, beaming like a borderline-retarded golden retriever.
Service Girl is two feet from me, leaning across to her friend and receiving a lesson in how to use her mobile phone.
...
...
...
*Mobile phone lesson continues*
...
...
...
*Golden retriever smile fading. Desperately trying to resist the urge to tap fingers on the counter*
...
...
...
The conversation appears to be winding up. Goodbyes are said, friend walks out the door. Service Girl fiddles with her phone for a moment or two more, then drags her eyes up to me
SG: sorry about that *couldn't be less sincere*
Me: That's OK, *retrieving golden smile* these things...
*Friend sticks head around corner*
Friend: Did I tell you my Dad got married!?
SG: *turning away* No!! OMG etc.
...
...
...
*Oh for fucks sake*
...
...
...
*Finally friend leaves*
SG: *wanders over to register* *pokes at keyboard* *heavy sigh* Name?
Me: Item
SG: *taps keyboard* Password?
Me: Ooh, it's been a while since I've used it, but I think it's...Bunty? [don't ask] but I'm not completely sure.
SG: *taps keyboard* *no response to password answer* Address?
Me: *thinking I've got the password wrong* *aware that the address she is using to confirm who I am is outdated* Oh, I've moved, I think you guys probably have 123 Carlton St. Carlton.
SG: *exasperated sigh* *rolls eyes* No [dickhead!]. What's your new address?
Me: *confused* *wondering what happened to the password question* Ah, well 789 Fitzroy St, Fitzroy.
SG: *taps keyboard* Have you got a new credit card?
Me: New in what sense exactly?
SG: *barely contained contempt* The one we have has expired.
Me: *rummaging through wallet* Here you go.
SG: *glances at card* Have you got another one?
Me *WTF!?* Um, yes, here you are.
SG: *takes DVD box from me* *examines box* Camp?
Me: ...yes.
SG: *tsk-ing* I think someone actually has this on hold
Me: *OMFG!!!!!* Oh really, it may have been my girlfriend, she rang earlier today?
SG: *looks doubtful* What was her name?
Me: Snooze
SG: Nope. That wasn't it.
Now let me pause here briefly to point out that when Snooze actually rang and discovered the DVD was in, she was in the process of asking the person on the phone (who turned out to be Service Girl) if she could put a hold on it when they abruptly hung up on her. She didn't even have a chance to put it on hold. Service Girl is just being an officious tosser.
SG: *looks through reserve book* Oh no, it's free after all.
Quell surprise!
The rest of the transaction goes through without any major hitches and I finally release myself from their evil clutches. I glance down at the temporary shop case holding the DVD, and that's when I remember why I despise them so entirely.
The staff at Video Dogs are frequently pricks. They're generally bored, unhelpful, rude and dismissive.
But.
None of this comes as a surprise when you look at their DVD casings.
A more condescending, patronising and morally-superior credo I challenge anyone to find.
I present to you, the Video Dogs manifesto. Click on the image to read.
So beware, all you inner-northern Melbournites, of the Video Dogs manifest and let this be a warning to you: they don't have that name for nothing.
It's a nice idea. A couple of small dark rooms packed to the rafters with videos and DVDs, away from the white fluorescent light and rampant commercialism of Blockbuster, a potential sanctuary from the cold Melbourne winter outside. One of the only video hire places in the area, they attract the locals - students, yuppies, retirees - they're on a pretty good wicket as far as captive audiences go. They've got a great range and their prices are reasonable.
The only problem is that they are a pack of cunts.
I apologise to my more delicate readers, but you haven't met surly, disinterested, morally-superior service until you've had the joy of trying to deal with these people.
I've lived in the Carlton area for over five years and given the monopoly this place has on location and convenience, I have experienced their particular brand of assholery many times. Yet on each occasion, as the months pass since my last visit, I write my feelings of loathing off as exaggeration - they can't really be as bad as I seem to remember, maybe the person working was just having a bad day. Hey I've worked in retail - I know how it can be.
But even with this fairly generous approach in mind, I am still shocked by the way they treat their customers every time I walk into the place.
Not too long ago, Snooze and I planned a night in front of the tele to educate Jelly, Snaz, Peter and the Redhead on the delights of Camp, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds. A quick check on the phone by Snooze of the local video stores to find a copy came up blank - leading inevitably, and somewhat ominously to Video Dogs.
VD: *sounding bored* Carlton Video Dogs
Snooze: Hi, I was wondering if you have a copy of "Camp" available.
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...um, it's 2003...
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...directed by Todd Graff (/WTF!?)
VD: *snapping* I'm just looking it up *heavy sigh*
...
...
...
Yes we do
Snooze: Great! Is it... *phone hangs up*
Being geographically closer, I was delegated the task of going down after work to collect said copy of "Camp".
Conscious of their reputation and eager to avoid being treated like a small piece of poo, I enter with my nicest face on, in the style of Ms Fits at the Chemist trying not to come across as a drug-addled whore. A quick search of the shelves and there it is, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds.
Jauntily I pluck it from the shelf and spring to the service counter, beaming like a borderline-retarded golden retriever.
Service Girl is two feet from me, leaning across to her friend and receiving a lesson in how to use her mobile phone.
...
...
...
*Mobile phone lesson continues*
...
...
...
*Golden retriever smile fading. Desperately trying to resist the urge to tap fingers on the counter*
...
...
...
The conversation appears to be winding up. Goodbyes are said, friend walks out the door. Service Girl fiddles with her phone for a moment or two more, then drags her eyes up to me
SG: sorry about that *couldn't be less sincere*
Me: That's OK, *retrieving golden smile* these things...
*Friend sticks head around corner*
Friend: Did I tell you my Dad got married!?
SG: *turning away* No!! OMG etc.
...
...
...
*Oh for fucks sake*
...
...
...
*Finally friend leaves*
SG: *wanders over to register* *pokes at keyboard* *heavy sigh* Name?
Me: Item
SG: *taps keyboard* Password?
Me: Ooh, it's been a while since I've used it, but I think it's...Bunty? [don't ask] but I'm not completely sure.
SG: *taps keyboard* *no response to password answer* Address?
Me: *thinking I've got the password wrong* *aware that the address she is using to confirm who I am is outdated* Oh, I've moved, I think you guys probably have 123 Carlton St. Carlton.
SG: *exasperated sigh* *rolls eyes* No [dickhead!]. What's your new address?
Me: *confused* *wondering what happened to the password question* Ah, well 789 Fitzroy St, Fitzroy.
SG: *taps keyboard* Have you got a new credit card?
Me: New in what sense exactly?
SG: *barely contained contempt* The one we have has expired.
Me: *rummaging through wallet* Here you go.
SG: *glances at card* Have you got another one?
Me *WTF!?* Um, yes, here you are.
SG: *takes DVD box from me* *examines box* Camp?
Me: ...yes.
SG: *tsk-ing* I think someone actually has this on hold
Me: *OMFG!!!!!* Oh really, it may have been my girlfriend, she rang earlier today?
SG: *looks doubtful* What was her name?
Me: Snooze
SG: Nope. That wasn't it.
Now let me pause here briefly to point out that when Snooze actually rang and discovered the DVD was in, she was in the process of asking the person on the phone (who turned out to be Service Girl) if she could put a hold on it when they abruptly hung up on her. She didn't even have a chance to put it on hold. Service Girl is just being an officious tosser.
SG: *looks through reserve book* Oh no, it's free after all.
Quell surprise!
The rest of the transaction goes through without any major hitches and I finally release myself from their evil clutches. I glance down at the temporary shop case holding the DVD, and that's when I remember why I despise them so entirely.
The staff at Video Dogs are frequently pricks. They're generally bored, unhelpful, rude and dismissive.
But.
None of this comes as a surprise when you look at their DVD casings.
A more condescending, patronising and morally-superior credo I challenge anyone to find.
I present to you, the Video Dogs manifesto. Click on the image to read.
So beware, all you inner-northern Melbournites, of the Video Dogs manifest and let this be a warning to you: they don't have that name for nothing.
More history
Well now, why does this not come as a surprise.
Apparently, Floridians are going through the same sort of history wars, thanks to more Conservative drum beating.
Sound familiar?
Apparently, Floridians are going through the same sort of history wars, thanks to more Conservative drum beating.
Sound familiar?
Sunday, 6 August 2006
Eek
This is what Itemisation looks like to people using Internet Explorer.
I knew it didn't look right, but THAT is atrocious. For those of you who can only view it that way, my most sincere apologies.
This is how the rest ofthe decent browser users us see it.
It really makes me appreciate Virginia's work.
*sigh*
I suppose I shall have to revisit this template after all...
I knew it didn't look right, but THAT is atrocious. For those of you who can only view it that way, my most sincere apologies.
This is how the rest of
It really makes me appreciate Virginia's work.
*sigh*
I suppose I shall have to revisit this template after all...
Howard's History 102
A particularly whiney opinion piece in today's paper from John Roskam on the History Summit, that pretty much sums up the Conservative standpoint and confirms my suspicions from the previous post.
First of all, John Roskam is not an academic, he is not a teacher. He is the Executive Director of the Institute of Public Affairs, Australia's self-proclaimed "Leading Free Market Think Tank". His biography on the site reads as follows:
With this in mind, consider his comments this morning:
What a load of crap.
This is the crux of the Conservative line and I would argue that it is almost entirely without foundation.
The Kevin Donnely's, Andrew Bolt's and John Roskam's of the world would have us believe that children are not taught about history, but rather that facts don't exist, that nothing can be confirmed, that everything is transient. I would like to know the last time any of them went anywhere near an actual history class either at a school or University.
There was an investigative report in the Sunday Age on the weekend looking into the way history is actually taught (that's not actually the right article - I can't find it online). The reporter visited three or four schools in different parts of the city, at both primary and secondary level and sat in on history classes to see what took place.
While each class was being taught in a slightly different style, there was no mention of specific historical theory - certainly not Marxist theory (for fuck's sake). In each case, the students were being taught about a specific period or person: Australians in the First World War; a VC winner in New Guinea; the founding of Australian democracy. Though the techniques differed, the reporter observed that in each class the students were engaged and actively involved. The students were looking things up on the internet and in texts, they were discussing the events and the people and they were generally aware of the period and the context.
There was no postmodern theory. There was no questioning of whether these things actually took place or not. Roskam's comment that "theory has replaced content" is simply not true.
In my studies in history from primary, to secondary, through tertiary and even Honours, I only ever had a single class dedicated to that type of theory. It was an advanced third year tertiary subject required for those intending to apply for Honours and was called, strangely enough, "Historical Theory and Research". In it, the major themes of various historical theories were covered. There was maybe a single lecture and seminar covering the postmodern concept that nothing is certain.
Conservative crusaders would like everyone to believe that our schools have been taken over by Bolshy Leftists intent on turning history into some sort of postmodern nothingness, when in practice this is simply not true. It's just astoundingly ironic that the same people who argue against the postmodern tendency to question and deconstruct are themselves creating a false version of what is actually happening.
At worst, it could be argued that the style of teaching is fractured and that the topics covered are not consistent, but to try and argue that "the point of learning history has been lost" because of a Conservative fantasy about some sort of Marxist uprising in our school system is just contemptible.
People like Roskam should stop slinging shit around and either stay out of it or just admit that they are trying to push through their own agenda.
Grr.
First of all, John Roskam is not an academic, he is not a teacher. He is the Executive Director of the Institute of Public Affairs, Australia's self-proclaimed "Leading Free Market Think Tank". His biography on the site reads as follows:
"Before joining the IPA, he was the Executive Director of The Menzies Research Centre in Canberra. He has also held positions as Chief of Staff to Dr David Kemp, the Federal Minister for Employment, Education, Training and Youth Affairs, as Senior Advisor to Don Hayward, Victorian Minister for Education in the first Kennett Government, and as Manager of Government and Corporate Affairs for Rio Tinto. His policy analysis includes reports such as Australia's Education Choices (with Professor Brian Caldwell) and The Protocol: Managing Relations with NGOs (with Gary Johns)."
With this in mind, consider his comments this morning:
"Part of the explanation for the decline of history, both in schools and universities, is that the point of learning history has been lost. Theory has replaced content. While history can lend itself to the application of various theories, and while there can be arguments as to what "really happened" the subject shouldn't be dominated by these issues.
The study of history, like the study of English literature, has fallen prey to academics who use these disciplines as vehicles to push various Marxist, and postmodern theories about class, gender, and race. In some of the humanities, it is almost as if students are positively discouraged from experiencing enthusiasm for the subject they are studying."
What a load of crap.
This is the crux of the Conservative line and I would argue that it is almost entirely without foundation.
The Kevin Donnely's, Andrew Bolt's and John Roskam's of the world would have us believe that children are not taught about history, but rather that facts don't exist, that nothing can be confirmed, that everything is transient. I would like to know the last time any of them went anywhere near an actual history class either at a school or University.
There was an investigative report in the Sunday Age on the weekend looking into the way history is actually taught (that's not actually the right article - I can't find it online). The reporter visited three or four schools in different parts of the city, at both primary and secondary level and sat in on history classes to see what took place.
While each class was being taught in a slightly different style, there was no mention of specific historical theory - certainly not Marxist theory (for fuck's sake). In each case, the students were being taught about a specific period or person: Australians in the First World War; a VC winner in New Guinea; the founding of Australian democracy. Though the techniques differed, the reporter observed that in each class the students were engaged and actively involved. The students were looking things up on the internet and in texts, they were discussing the events and the people and they were generally aware of the period and the context.
There was no postmodern theory. There was no questioning of whether these things actually took place or not. Roskam's comment that "theory has replaced content" is simply not true.
In my studies in history from primary, to secondary, through tertiary and even Honours, I only ever had a single class dedicated to that type of theory. It was an advanced third year tertiary subject required for those intending to apply for Honours and was called, strangely enough, "Historical Theory and Research". In it, the major themes of various historical theories were covered. There was maybe a single lecture and seminar covering the postmodern concept that nothing is certain.
Conservative crusaders would like everyone to believe that our schools have been taken over by Bolshy Leftists intent on turning history into some sort of postmodern nothingness, when in practice this is simply not true. It's just astoundingly ironic that the same people who argue against the postmodern tendency to question and deconstruct are themselves creating a false version of what is actually happening.
At worst, it could be argued that the style of teaching is fractured and that the topics covered are not consistent, but to try and argue that "the point of learning history has been lost" because of a Conservative fantasy about some sort of Marxist uprising in our school system is just contemptible.
People like Roskam should stop slinging shit around and either stay out of it or just admit that they are trying to push through their own agenda.
Grr.
Saturday, 5 August 2006
Howard's History 101
On Thursday 17 August, a group of academics, social commentators and politicians will meet in Canberra to partake in the Australian History Summit. The brainchild of our noble leader, John Winston Howard, the purpose of the Summit is on the face of things, to discuss the state of history teaching in Australia and to determine a single cohesive approach.
There has been a great deal written on this already and I would assume this will only increase as the date draws nearer, which frankly can only be a good thing. History is nearly always considered, somewhat ironically, as a dusty relic of yesteryear's academic disciplines, no longer relevant or interesting to the 21st century's young minds, so to see it gain public attention in such a way is at least a step in the right direction.
However, as others have mentioned previously, it is difficult to wonder if there is not something more behind this than first meets the eye.
My own experiences of history at school fall into two categories. Primary school and secondary school. The first almost exclusively boring as batshit, the second imaginatively constructed and enthusiastically rendered.
Primary school history was all about dates and important men, Captain Cook, the explorers. "History" lessons were taught from what in retrospect appeared to be a sort of set-in-stone structure, a list of events and people to be ticked off and memorised. On the whole, this was utterly unhelpful and instilled from an early age that sense of dustiness and boredom that is so often associated with history and one that most people never have the opportunity to shake off.
Secondary school history on the other hand was an entirely different kettle of fish. History became a fluid, shifting, living thing to be interpreted and discovered, discussed and considered. Suddenly there were actual people involved, the rest of the world came to play and events were shaped not by an individual in a snazzy uniform and a flag on a stick, but by whole populations, economies and environments. As students we were encouraged to question, to push and probe, to look for our own answers among the complexities and contradictions.
Mark Bahnisch of Larvatus Prodeo is a Lecturer in the Politics, Economy & Society Program within the School of Arts, Media & Culture at Griffith University. In the unpublished article he wrote for Crikey on the History Summit, he questions the motives behind the call for such a meeting and notes the lack of academic firepower on a gathering stacked with opinion writers of a decidedly conservative hue. If this is to be the balanced and objective summit that John Howard and Julie Bishop insist it will be, then why not reduce the number of social commentators and increase the number of actual academics and educators. Surely if the purpose is to define a more cohesive curriculum, then the input of an opinion columnist such as the Sydney Institute's Gerard Henderson can't be particularly helpful.
Bahnisch argues and I can't help but agree, that the Australian History Summit is not in fact a genuine attempt to improve history teaching necessarily, but has more to do with John Howard's conservative agenda, a chance to make his mark on the History Wars that have become an increasing frustration to the conservative view of Australian history.
By establishing some sort of agreed narrative, Howard hopes that what he perceives as the 'negative' aspects of our history will be removed or at least softened, making way for a neater, nicer and I would argue much more boring Australian 'story'. A story in which capital-letter Facts are laid out in chronological order - a series of events not to be discovered, examined and questioned, but to be presented as the 'truth', the way things 'actually happened'.
Who decides on what these Facts will be? What events are considered appropriate for the Australian narrative? If the Australian History Summit achieves its stated aims, then these questions will be answered by Geoffrey Blainey, Gerard Henderson and (god forbid) Julie Bishop, handing Howard another victory in his quest to conservatise Australia further still, to produce a new generation of children bored with history and disinclined to question, explore and discover history for themselves. A generation of kids who know when Captain Cook landed in Australia for the first time, but who neither know, nor care about what happened to those who accompanied him, or to the aboriginal tribes he displaced in the process, or any of the other minutiae of our past sneeringly dismissed by conservatives as postmodern history.
The Australian history Summit is an attempt to change the way history is taught in our schools, not because what they learn now is uninteresting, but because it does not conform to Howard's interpretation of what history should 'be'. If Bishop and Howard are successful in changing the curriculum, then the current view of history as old fashioned and out of touch will simply become more prominent, secondary school history even less popular and tertiary history (apparently the bastion of the left) will more or less fade away until we are ultimately and depressingly left with the official version, Howard's Australian History.
Let's hope that the complexity of the task defeats the zealots and that Australian history continues to be taught as the frequently questioned, rarely static discipline into which it has evolved.
There has been a great deal written on this already and I would assume this will only increase as the date draws nearer, which frankly can only be a good thing. History is nearly always considered, somewhat ironically, as a dusty relic of yesteryear's academic disciplines, no longer relevant or interesting to the 21st century's young minds, so to see it gain public attention in such a way is at least a step in the right direction.
However, as others have mentioned previously, it is difficult to wonder if there is not something more behind this than first meets the eye.
My own experiences of history at school fall into two categories. Primary school and secondary school. The first almost exclusively boring as batshit, the second imaginatively constructed and enthusiastically rendered.
Primary school history was all about dates and important men, Captain Cook, the explorers. "History" lessons were taught from what in retrospect appeared to be a sort of set-in-stone structure, a list of events and people to be ticked off and memorised. On the whole, this was utterly unhelpful and instilled from an early age that sense of dustiness and boredom that is so often associated with history and one that most people never have the opportunity to shake off.
Secondary school history on the other hand was an entirely different kettle of fish. History became a fluid, shifting, living thing to be interpreted and discovered, discussed and considered. Suddenly there were actual people involved, the rest of the world came to play and events were shaped not by an individual in a snazzy uniform and a flag on a stick, but by whole populations, economies and environments. As students we were encouraged to question, to push and probe, to look for our own answers among the complexities and contradictions.
Mark Bahnisch of Larvatus Prodeo is a Lecturer in the Politics, Economy & Society Program within the School of Arts, Media & Culture at Griffith University. In the unpublished article he wrote for Crikey on the History Summit, he questions the motives behind the call for such a meeting and notes the lack of academic firepower on a gathering stacked with opinion writers of a decidedly conservative hue. If this is to be the balanced and objective summit that John Howard and Julie Bishop insist it will be, then why not reduce the number of social commentators and increase the number of actual academics and educators. Surely if the purpose is to define a more cohesive curriculum, then the input of an opinion columnist such as the Sydney Institute's Gerard Henderson can't be particularly helpful.
Bahnisch argues and I can't help but agree, that the Australian History Summit is not in fact a genuine attempt to improve history teaching necessarily, but has more to do with John Howard's conservative agenda, a chance to make his mark on the History Wars that have become an increasing frustration to the conservative view of Australian history.
By establishing some sort of agreed narrative, Howard hopes that what he perceives as the 'negative' aspects of our history will be removed or at least softened, making way for a neater, nicer and I would argue much more boring Australian 'story'. A story in which capital-letter Facts are laid out in chronological order - a series of events not to be discovered, examined and questioned, but to be presented as the 'truth', the way things 'actually happened'.
Who decides on what these Facts will be? What events are considered appropriate for the Australian narrative? If the Australian History Summit achieves its stated aims, then these questions will be answered by Geoffrey Blainey, Gerard Henderson and (god forbid) Julie Bishop, handing Howard another victory in his quest to conservatise Australia further still, to produce a new generation of children bored with history and disinclined to question, explore and discover history for themselves. A generation of kids who know when Captain Cook landed in Australia for the first time, but who neither know, nor care about what happened to those who accompanied him, or to the aboriginal tribes he displaced in the process, or any of the other minutiae of our past sneeringly dismissed by conservatives as postmodern history.
The Australian history Summit is an attempt to change the way history is taught in our schools, not because what they learn now is uninteresting, but because it does not conform to Howard's interpretation of what history should 'be'. If Bishop and Howard are successful in changing the curriculum, then the current view of history as old fashioned and out of touch will simply become more prominent, secondary school history even less popular and tertiary history (apparently the bastion of the left) will more or less fade away until we are ultimately and depressingly left with the official version, Howard's Australian History.
Let's hope that the complexity of the task defeats the zealots and that Australian history continues to be taught as the frequently questioned, rarely static discipline into which it has evolved.
Telescope wins Best Ever Name competition
Today's Sunday Age reports:
Unlike the orbital Hubble telescope, the new device will be placed somewhere improbably remote on earth. Suggestions have included Tibet, Chile, Greenland or a 3000-metre plateau in Antarctica intriguingly named "Dome C".
Its purpose is to detect life on other planets within the cosmos, peering far beyond the limits to which astronomers are currently bound. It is a noble undertaking, a project and concept that has the potential to reveal ever more astonishing secrets of the universe and as such deserves a suitably impressive name.
With this in mind, these interstellar frontiersmen and women - frontierspeople if you will - have sifted through the annals of history and mythology to create a name befitting this most impressive of telescopes.
And it shall be called.
*drumroll*
The Extremely Large Telescope
Yes, that's right. The Extremely Large Telescope (or ELT for those in the know) will take the place of the current whopper based in southern Europe - The Very Large Telescope and this is only because they have had to abandon their plans to erect an enormous orbital device, with the brilliant acronym OWL.
Can you guess what OWL stands for? Go on, guess...
OWL, of course, stands for Overwhelmingly Large Telescope.
Just. Brilliant.
"ASTRONOMERS want to build a 42-metre telescope that could reveal whether life exists anywhere else in the cosmos.
The [telescope] being proposed by scientists from a consortium of European countries based at the Cerro Paranal observatory in Chile's Atacama desert will dwarf anything astronomers use today. It could be used to tackle mysteries such as what the first objects in the universe were."
Unlike the orbital Hubble telescope, the new device will be placed somewhere improbably remote on earth. Suggestions have included Tibet, Chile, Greenland or a 3000-metre plateau in Antarctica intriguingly named "Dome C".
Its purpose is to detect life on other planets within the cosmos, peering far beyond the limits to which astronomers are currently bound. It is a noble undertaking, a project and concept that has the potential to reveal ever more astonishing secrets of the universe and as such deserves a suitably impressive name.
With this in mind, these interstellar frontiersmen and women - frontierspeople if you will - have sifted through the annals of history and mythology to create a name befitting this most impressive of telescopes.
And it shall be called.
*drumroll*
The Extremely Large Telescope
Yes, that's right. The Extremely Large Telescope (or ELT for those in the know) will take the place of the current whopper based in southern Europe - The Very Large Telescope and this is only because they have had to abandon their plans to erect an enormous orbital device, with the brilliant acronym OWL.
Can you guess what OWL stands for? Go on, guess...
OWL, of course, stands for Overwhelmingly Large Telescope.
Just. Brilliant.
Friday, 4 August 2006
Just because
I have a confession to make.
I love watching Funniest Home Videos. The key though is to do so with the sound off. Seriously, try it.
This however, is purely for the sheer brilliance of cats doing funny things.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Itemisation, in conjunction with You Tube and our coporate partners, is proud to present the following production.
Please enjoy.
Funny Cats
I love watching Funniest Home Videos. The key though is to do so with the sound off. Seriously, try it.
This however, is purely for the sheer brilliance of cats doing funny things.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Itemisation, in conjunction with You Tube and our coporate partners, is proud to present the following production.
Please enjoy.
Funny Cats
Thursday, 3 August 2006
Friday laziness
Who can be bothered posting on a Friday?
Well, I kind of am, but only in a lazy way.
If you want some funny reading, have a look at this post by Tim Sterne of Sternezine - particularly the comments.
These are the leaders of tomorrow.
PS - I've had some reports that this new layout looks really weird in some browsers. Personally methinks Allen & Unwin just need to update their freakin software, but still...anyone else having difficulties?
Well, I kind of am, but only in a lazy way.
If you want some funny reading, have a look at this post by Tim Sterne of Sternezine - particularly the comments.
These are the leaders of tomorrow.
PS - I've had some reports that this new layout looks really weird in some browsers. Personally methinks Allen & Unwin just need to update their freakin software, but still...anyone else having difficulties?
Brrr
Those of you in Melbourne over the last couple of weeks will be familiar with how freakin cold some of our mornings have been.
I took this photo of ice on my car the Friday before last when the temperature was 0.7 degrees. Overnight it got down to 0.5
That's pretty chilly for inner city Melbourne.
But cold as it is, I can't say I really want to be in the States right now like various friends, because the heat there is horrific.
Hope your still alive Stitzy! I love it when it's cold.
I took this photo of ice on my car the Friday before last when the temperature was 0.7 degrees. Overnight it got down to 0.5
That's pretty chilly for inner city Melbourne.
But cold as it is, I can't say I really want to be in the States right now like various friends, because the heat there is horrific.
Hope your still alive Stitzy! I love it when it's cold.
Wednesday, 2 August 2006
Crime and Punishment in the Victorian Era Naughties
During the 18th and 19th centuries, England had a few issues with overcrowding in their prison system and set about ways to rectify the problem.
Among a number of inventive practices, of which deportation to the colonies was a favourite, the idea of coverting old ships to floating jails became fashionable.
This was a period in which the concept of crime and punishment was being explored. A popular topic of conversation among the highly educated, dramatic changes were starting to occur as it became evident that imprisonment was as much a punishment in itself as flogging, banishment, torture or any of the ways criminals were dealt with in the past. Jeremy Bentham, a prominent British philosopher developed the concept of the Panopticon, a new type of prison in which inmates would be housed in separate booths, unable to see each other, but under constant supervision by prison staff.
Hulks were a response to this new form punishment as prisons became overcrowded. Their masts lopped off a couple of meters above the deck, hulks were moored in rivers or bays, often surrounded by a circle of bouys that was to be kept clear of boats, allowing warders on shore to watch for escapees and to prevent disease spreading - an olden days "exclusion zone".
As they were more or less overflow tanks for the prison system, the hulks were frequently overcrowded and held the worst prisoners. Slowly rotting at their moorings, no sanitation, fresh food or air, they must have been horrendous things to see.
Not many people know this, but Melbourne had it's very own prison hulks during the mid 1800s. Moored off Williamstown pier, they too held the overflow from Melbourne's own gaols. Groaning under the crush of new arrivals intent on making their fortunes on the Goldfields, Melbourne was struggling to handle the number of prisoners generated by the Victorian Era discipline. There were six of them in all, a convenient way of shutting away people who had become an inconvenient problem.
Well being the history nerd that I am, it fills my heart with joy that our Federal Government has decided to give us a taste of what it must have been like in Australia 150 years ago. In a similar fashion to the Walking with Dinosaurs: Live Experience show currently taking place in Sydney, Amanda Vanstone and the lovely bunch at DIMIA have announced that we are getting our very own prison ship.
Isn't that nice.
Among a number of inventive practices, of which deportation to the colonies was a favourite, the idea of coverting old ships to floating jails became fashionable.
This was a period in which the concept of crime and punishment was being explored. A popular topic of conversation among the highly educated, dramatic changes were starting to occur as it became evident that imprisonment was as much a punishment in itself as flogging, banishment, torture or any of the ways criminals were dealt with in the past. Jeremy Bentham, a prominent British philosopher developed the concept of the Panopticon, a new type of prison in which inmates would be housed in separate booths, unable to see each other, but under constant supervision by prison staff.
Hulks were a response to this new form punishment as prisons became overcrowded. Their masts lopped off a couple of meters above the deck, hulks were moored in rivers or bays, often surrounded by a circle of bouys that was to be kept clear of boats, allowing warders on shore to watch for escapees and to prevent disease spreading - an olden days "exclusion zone".
As they were more or less overflow tanks for the prison system, the hulks were frequently overcrowded and held the worst prisoners. Slowly rotting at their moorings, no sanitation, fresh food or air, they must have been horrendous things to see.
Not many people know this, but Melbourne had it's very own prison hulks during the mid 1800s. Moored off Williamstown pier, they too held the overflow from Melbourne's own gaols. Groaning under the crush of new arrivals intent on making their fortunes on the Goldfields, Melbourne was struggling to handle the number of prisoners generated by the Victorian Era discipline. There were six of them in all, a convenient way of shutting away people who had become an inconvenient problem.
Well being the history nerd that I am, it fills my heart with joy that our Federal Government has decided to give us a taste of what it must have been like in Australia 150 years ago. In a similar fashion to the Walking with Dinosaurs: Live Experience show currently taking place in Sydney, Amanda Vanstone and the lovely bunch at DIMIA have announced that we are getting our very own prison ship.
Isn't that nice.
Tuesday, 1 August 2006
Powazek on PEW on Blogs
Being new to the blogging game insomuch as only recently getting one, yet having been a blog stalker for many years, this study about the habits of bloggers is kind of interesting.
What do you mean "must be a slow day at work".
In sickness...
Snooze is quite unwell at the moment. Seems to be some sort of flu thing, not entirely sure, but she's not very happy in the world.
When someone close to me gets sick, it makes me realise how effectively useless I am. Oh, I'm quite happy to flap around and make disparaging comments about not taking sick days when one is sick, or produce hot lemon and honey drinks and the like, but when push comes to shove, I'm not really any help at all. I can do comfort, but I can't do help.
This doesn't really come as an enormous shock. I'm an Arts graduate with a good musical ear and a penchant for bureaucratic orderliness - not an emergency doctor, or a chemist or anything remotely useful in that sense.
I am certainly not alone in lacking two handy sticks to rub together. It may be considered uncharitable, but not completely inaccurate to say that the majority of my friends fall into the same category, with some notable exceptions.
So what happens when stuff goes wrong? Fortunately, we don't have to deal with stuff going wrong too often. But I think of a me living in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Lebanon. To have the same sense of uselessness, but magnified many times over by the frequency of badnesses.
Gah! - this is sounding preachy which is not at all what I'm trying to do. There are many more eloquent writers who have a better grasp of what's going on in the world than I do. It's just that sometimes I get a glimpse of what it must be like, and it makes me sad and angry and frustrated at my inability to help or to be helpful.
Still. Snooze will perk up in a couple of days. I'll stop having lunch and stop moping and go back to work. The weather will get warmer, or snow will fall, or my football team will actually win a game and stuff will be fine.
But just every now and then, I think it's good to wallow and to think about just how useless I actually am so that I can appreciate how good things really are.
Anyway. Levity will resume shortly.
When someone close to me gets sick, it makes me realise how effectively useless I am. Oh, I'm quite happy to flap around and make disparaging comments about not taking sick days when one is sick, or produce hot lemon and honey drinks and the like, but when push comes to shove, I'm not really any help at all. I can do comfort, but I can't do help.
This doesn't really come as an enormous shock. I'm an Arts graduate with a good musical ear and a penchant for bureaucratic orderliness - not an emergency doctor, or a chemist or anything remotely useful in that sense.
I am certainly not alone in lacking two handy sticks to rub together. It may be considered uncharitable, but not completely inaccurate to say that the majority of my friends fall into the same category, with some notable exceptions.
So what happens when stuff goes wrong? Fortunately, we don't have to deal with stuff going wrong too often. But I think of a me living in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Lebanon. To have the same sense of uselessness, but magnified many times over by the frequency of badnesses.
Gah! - this is sounding preachy which is not at all what I'm trying to do. There are many more eloquent writers who have a better grasp of what's going on in the world than I do. It's just that sometimes I get a glimpse of what it must be like, and it makes me sad and angry and frustrated at my inability to help or to be helpful.
Still. Snooze will perk up in a couple of days. I'll stop having lunch and stop moping and go back to work. The weather will get warmer, or snow will fall, or my football team will actually win a game and stuff will be fine.
But just every now and then, I think it's good to wallow and to think about just how useless I actually am so that I can appreciate how good things really are.
Anyway. Levity will resume shortly.
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