Pet numbers drop, kids to blame

"Pets ditched for games" says the headline on the Hearld-Sun website, complete with a picture of a sad puppy.

The amusingly named Dr Seksel *snigger*, President of the Australian Veterinary Association, reports that changing lifestyles have seen a reduction in the number of pets in the last 15 years.

"Our style of living is different. We do tend to live in apartments and high rises more than we did 15 years ago," Dr Seksel said.

Fair enough.

"Modern suburban dwellings are much less likely to have a big backyard, which tends to restrict choices about pet ownership.

Reasonable point.

"Australian children these days are much more likely to be sitting inside playing video games than running around the backyard, which I think is a shame."

WTF!?

It's those lazy fat children that are to blame! They're bringing down society from within with their perfidious "computer games" and their "U-Tubes" and their "My-Spaces"! It's not a shame, it's a NATIONAL DISGRACE!!

How this stops people owning pets is not entirely clear to me, but that's the beauty of the Hearld-Sun, it doesn't have to make sense, as long as there's someone to blame. Hurrah!

Kerry gets one back

For the first time in many years it's actually kind of fun to be a Lefty. Many of the appalling decisions that have been made on the wave of neoconservativism are starting to bite the hands that delivered them.

When John Kerry was defeated by George W in the 2004 US Federal elections, there was a level of despair among those who thought that we were seeing the end of the Bush White House. It was heartbreaking not just because "our side" had lost, but the way the loss came about.

Readers may remember a particularly charming group that formed during the campaign called the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth". A selling point for the Democrats was that John Kerry was a legitimate Vietnam War hero, having been decorated for his service in the swift boats - and an obvious counter to George W's own dubious miltary service.

SBVT took it upon themselves to viciously smear Kerry, accusing him of fabricating and exaggerating stories of his service in Vietnam to bolster his own image. Hiding under Section 527 of the Internal Revenue Code, SBVT were able to publish a book and run television and print advertisments denouncing Kerry without being subject to the Federal Election Commission laws that would otherwise have prevented it.

Skip to February 2007. The President's nominee for the post of US Ambassodor to Belgium appears before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to be essentially interviewed for the position. The nominee is Sam Fox, a Republican and benefactor of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth who contributed US$50,000 to the group during the 2004 election. On the Senate Committee is none other than John Kerry.

A beautiful comeuppance.

You should read the full transcript here [link], or watch the footage here [link].

But here is a brief sample:

Kerry: So, again, I ask you the question, do you think now that you and others bear responsibility for thinking about where we put money in American politics? What we're saying, what we present to the American people -- is truth important or isn’t it?

Fox: Senator, if I had reason to believe and if I were convinced that the money was going to be used to, in any untruthful or false way, knowingly, I would not give.

Kerry: Well, sir, let me ask you this question: Did you or did you not in any of the public comments being made at the time, which I assume you were following, hear or read of any of the public statements at that point in time, with respect to the legitimacy of these charges and these smears?

Fox: Mr. Senator, I can say this…

Kerry: Did you miss this: In September of 2004, Vice Admiral Ruth, with the Navy Inspector General, wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Navy that was made public -- the New York Times, the Washington Post, every major newspaper in the country carried, saying their examination found that the existing documentation regarding my medals was legitimate.

Did you miss that too?

Fox: I don’t remember those, but I'm certain at the time I must have read them.

Kerry: Do you think this should matter to me?

Fox: I'm sorry?

Kerry: Do you think this should matter to me?

Fox: Yes, I do.

Kerry: Do you think this should matter to everyone here, as a Senator?

Fox: Absolutely. As a matter of fact, going back to the time when I said I was on record and was interviewed a number of times about campaign finance reform and about less money going in, I said one of the big reasons was not just the nastiness and so forth associated with it, but the abuse the candidates had to take to run for public office, I think it's disgraceful, I think it's terrible.

It could be a fun few months.

Just...

Courtesy of Virginia

That is all.

Woot

Congratulations to Tim Stitz on his well-earned Green Room Award nomination for Best Male Performer in the Independent Theatre category.


Well earned my friend. My fingers and toes are crossed...

Howard's devastating troop surge to solve problems in Iraq

In a bold response to Barack Obama's challenge to send another 20,000 Australian troops to fight in Iraq, John Howard and Brendan Nelson yesterday announced a move that will surely strike fear into the hearts of the previously emboldened terrorists in Iraq.

As Howard himself said in 2004, "It [Iraq] is a test of values - whether the powerful call for freedom can overcome the destructive force of terror".

In keeping with these grand statements on the clash of civilisations and his well-earned monika of the "Man of Steel", John Howard will commit UP TO 70 MORE NON-COMBAT PERSONNEL TO THE WAR ON TERROR!!

[Photo from here]

Osama Bin Laden must be LITERALLY quaking in his boots.

What a decisive and devastating move from a master tactician! This will fool people into thinking he's doing something about solve the problems in Iraq. I'm particularly fond of the wording: up to 70 more personnel. They're not even committing to 70, just any number between 0 and 70 - could be 50, could be 5 - either way IT'S STILL UP TO 70!



In other news, the newly appointed Minister for Trying To Excuse The Governments Appalling Record on Climate Change, Malcolm Turnbull announced a devastating move of his own. Australia will decisively fight Greenhouse gas emissions by completely phasing out conventional light globes over the next 2 to 3 years.

According to The Age, "lighting represents about 12 per cent of greenhouse gas emissions from households in Australia", so reducing these by any amount is surely a step in the right direction - but is this really about trying to reduce greenhouse emissions or is actually just a stunt? Take a look at the transcript from this morning's edition of AM on ABC radio and decide for yourself:

EMMA ALBERICI: Lighting is said to represent about 25 per cent of commercial sector greenhouse gas emissions, what about all the businesses around the country that leave their lights on at night? Will you consider fining them?

MALCOLM TURNBULL: No, I don't think that we're likely to be doing that.

EMMA ALBERICI: Why not?

MALCOLM TURNBULL: Well Emma, I think you've got to look at measures that are, that are effective, and ultimately you know, you say you want to fine a business with its lights on. How do you know when you see the lights on in a business, how do you know whether the floor is empty, whether there are people working there, whether there are cleaners working there?

...


Um...sure. How do you know... if people are working... or not...

Good point Malcolm, well made.

You have to feel sorry for the man. He has the hardest job in the Federal Government at the moment and he doesn't do too badly considering the material he has to work with, but seriously.

An open letter to the neighbourhood racist

Dear Fuckstick,

Last night, you chose to wake up the neighbourhood by racially abusing the taxi driver who brought you home, pissed out of your brain, at 3 o'clock in the morning. As enjoyable as you seem to find the exercise, I don't appreciate (nor does the rest of the street) being woken up by redneck cockheads like you.

Though you certainly have a way with words and a persuasive turn of phrase: "why don't you learn fucken English!? Have some fucken respect for this country mate! I don't wanna go to your fucken country! Have some fucken respect" etc, I would be more impressed if this wasn't the second time in a month that exactly the same thing has happened.

Last time, you took the particularly charming tack of calling the taxi driver a "curry muncher" and by thoughtfully informing him that it was people like him who gave "his people" a "bad name".

I congratulate you for your bravery - picking on taxi drivers unable to fight back as they are technically "at work", selecting those with a poor grasp of English, waiting until you get home before sparking up and then running into your house after they have already delivered you for a minimal fee. I applaud your eloquence: "why don't you fuck off back to your own country" and I am glad, so very glad that it is people like you who many new immigrants get to encounter at least every now and then.

Here's a news flash for you Fucktard, abusing someone for "not having respect for this country" and in the very same breath telling them that you don't want to go to their "fucken country" is so disastrously ironic that it actually leaves me speechless.

You, my friend, neighbour, brother in citizenship, I despise. I wish nothing for you but misery and a long, unfulfilling life.

Oh and while you're at it, fuck off out of our street.

Yrs etc.

Tom.

Amusement (en francais)

I'm going over the Seas soon. OH THE EXCITEMENT!!

One of the places I'll be traipsing though is Paris. That's right. Paris.

In doing the obligatory pre-trip planning, I discovered that one the airports in Paris is called...Orly.




Ha!

Neeeaaooowww!

I'm not all that in to fast cars and the like, but this is ace.

The looming Arc de Triomphe is amazing.

Well-earned

David Attenborough is finally retiring at 83.

What a wonderful man and and a wonderful life he has led. Nature documentaries will not be the same without his distinctive narration.


I guess it had to happen one day.

PS - What's happened to Ausculture?